An Unrequited Maybe Love
by Gilded Words
Summary: A Jolex reunion story told from the perspective of the one man who probably didn't want it.


_**Okay I know this fic is essentially everything Jolex fans are scared of happening but I promise you it is at the end of the day about Jolex -just told through Deluca. I just kinda fell in love with Deluca this season and this just sorta wrote itself.**_

 _ **Anyways slightly AU with season 13 but I hope you like it!** _

_**(Stuff about 12 Hours at the end)**_

* * *

He _likes_ her.

He may even love her, he's not sure yet.

Or maybe he's pretending he's not sure. Because knowing that he's in love with her means knowing that Jo Wilson will _never_ feel the same way about him.

Because she _definitely_ still in love with _Alex Karev_. He sees it in the way she looks at him when she thinks no one's watching. Her eyes glitter and her mouth twists into the slightest of smiles.

And he _knows_ because he looks at her the same way.

He's jealous, but he has no reason to be, after all, Jo spent her time near exclusively with him. She rants to him, shares her drinks with him, even drives home with him. And yet he's jealous of the three seconds he sees her share with him every day. She walks the long way to the resident's lounge every morning, making a point to pass the clinic on her way. And he's jealous. Because while he can make her laugh, he will never get her to look at him as unguarded as the way she looks at Karev.

He doesn't get it. He's had his head unnecessarily pummeled in because of her. He nearly lost his career because of her. Nearly went blind because of her. He should _hate_ Jo. But instead he _maybe loves_ her. It's actually pathetic.

It's really hard, being the hospital pariah. Some days he's the intern that cost revered pediatric surgeon Alex Karev his job. Other days he's the brutal monster that tried to take advantage of sweet Dr Wilson. Nobody saw him. Nobody saw his pain, not until Jo. And in a world where it seemed everyone had turned their back on him, she became his unlikely ally. _And he's never been more grateful._

He's seen her unknowingly break the hearts of so many guys in his year. "She's just another senior resident" he used to tell.

She was definitely not _just another senior resident._

When she came to tell him that she was filing for divorce, he told her that he's proud of her. But there's a part of him, a tiny selfish part of him, a part he's not proud of, that didn't want her to. Because then she'd have no reason to hold on to him anymore. He's not stupid or naive, he knows their relationship isn't one she would have chosen or wanted. It was a relationship formed by circumstance and alcohol.

But he supported her he because more than he wants her, _he wants her happiness_.

So he sat with her at her divorce attorney's office. Held her hand when her lawyer asked her to go over specific memories. His fist clenching as he hears about the horrible things she's survived.

He handed her the pen she used to sign the divorce papers. Watched her face- equal parts fear and hope glimmer in her eyes. _He also poured her several drinks that night._

He let her cry to him the night she decided to come clean to Karev and he told her in no uncertain terms he wanted nothing to do with her.

" _Karev's a really good guy"_ Or at least he'd once thought. He realized he's never hated someone more, than he hates Alex Karev. But it's not even for the pain he had cost him. He hates Karev for the pain he's cost her. He hates him for not realizing what he had and what he was throwing away.

But maybe there's one other person he hates more he hates Alex Karev.

She'd told him horror stories, about her husband. Punches, kicks, knives. Each story worse than the last before he has to ask her stop because it was making him physically sick.

But it isn't until he's staring at her broken form on the hospital bed does he realize the extent to which this guy could hurt someone.

She's got two broken ribs, a brain contusion, a collapsed lung, and large amounts of bruising and scarring.

Andrew's a doctor, albeit a new one, but a doctor himself and he knows it doesn't look good. He knows that the extent of all the physical damage on her body. He knows the chances and the risks. He knows where this could all go wrong.

But he knows Jo's resilience. He knows she's a survivor. And if anyone could survive this it would be her.

At least that's what he keeps telling himself. Over and over. She's gonna make. She has to make it.

The anger's consuming. Andrew is a normally calm guy. Level headed. Rational. But right now _everything_ is tinged red.

And Alex Karev could not have picked a worse moment to storm in.

Andrew watches as he rushes to her bedside, as his hands shake when he reached for the chart at the end of her bed, his eyes fighting emotion but always on her. Grey walks in with him too, but Andrew barely notices her instead he watches as the pediatric surgeon he'd once revered, slowly unravel as he reads the long list of Jo's injuries.

But it's when he reaches down to touch her that something switches inside Andrew.

"Get away from her!" The outburst is unexpected but Andrew is moving on autopilot. Everything is now burning red and he is seething

Karev turns around just then noticing his presence, his eyes squint in confusion but he makes no move to leave. And it only fuels Andrew's anger.

He's already up and and inch away from Karev's face before he's even realized he's moved.

"Get out." There's an amount of threatening in his voice that Andrew didn't even think was possible.

"Deluca?" He's pissed now too, Andrew can tell but he doesn't care.

"You have _no right_ to be here. She's not your girlfriend. She's not your wife. And you made it abundantly clear she had no place in your life. Get. Out."

"Deluca-"

"She came to you. Told you everything. And you told her to leave. She told you what he was capable of. And you didn't do _anything_ to help her." He nearly killed her and you didn't even realize."

 _Well...maybe he's not just mad at Karev._

"Dr Deluca! You are overstepping-!" Dr Grey's voice is authoritative and threatening and just two hours ago he'd probably have listened but right now he's to angry to feel or do anything else.

Karev cuts her off first, "No, Mer. He's right.I'll...I- um I'll go." his voice is heavy and laced with resignation as he rushes out the sliding doors.

It's late and Bailey tells him to go home. She wasn't going to wake up tonight. He tries to protest but Bailey doesn't listen to any of it. And with the promise of staying with Jo through the night she pushes him out the door.

He plans on spending the night in an on call room but as he turns the corner he sees Alex Karev.

He looks nothing like the man he'd once looked up to. He looks hollow. He's hunched over in a chair his head is in his hands. He's a sad sight and Deluca _almost_ felt bad for him.

"Dr Karev?"

He glances up at him, his eyes widen as he realizes it's him.

"I'm sorry I know-I have no right to be here but I can't leave okay? I-I can't."

And maybe it's realizing that he's may be the only person in the world who understood how he was feeling or just plain stress induced temporary insanity, but Andrew sat down next to Karev.

"She's going to be okay. She's stable now which is good. Shepherd doesn't think that the contusion needs surgery but she'll do a CT when Jo wakes up. Pierce put a chest tube in for her lung. And Compson says her leg may need surgery but Bailey didn't really believe him so she also sent her scans to Torres in New York."

Karev's eyes widened slightly when sat down in surprise but then shut in pain as Deluca read off Jo's injuries, nodding occasionally. "She'll probably want to see those scans herself when she wakes up"

Andrew smirked, "Yeah, when she gets talking about bones,"

"-she never stops" Karev finishes for him, his voice barely above a whisper, a ghost of a smile on his face. He clears his throat before speaking again, "I'm glad she has you right now. She needs people in her corner."

"Jo's a hard person to not be there for"

Alex nodded, regret visible on his face.

Andrew's eyes widened when he realized what he'd said, "No! I mean-that's not what I meant"

The older doctor waved him off, "No, no you're right. I turned her away when she need me. And it wasn't even the first time."

"You didn't know. A secret marriage is a big thing to hide. And for that many years, anyone would have reacted that way."

"I messed up with Jo years before this. I never really paid attention, I guess in a way I kind of took her for granted. It took a lot for us to get together but then she never left and I got comfortable. And I should have been paying attention. I was always too busy, with work or Mer or Robbins, there was always something. And she told me about it and I just wrote her off as jealous or not getting it. And I've been sitting here and I keep thinking what if I'd paid attention and seen the signs? I mean she always hated the idea of marriage. What if I hadn't given her reason to think she couldn't trust me? How different would things be now, she wouldn't be in a hospital bed and we'd be happy. Unmarried sure but when did I care so much for a stupid sheet of paper?"

And for the first time Andrew really understood the older doctor, but more than that he felt _bad_ for him. "Hey. You're allowed to want something too. And Jo did want that too. She did want to marry you. She just couldn't."

"Yeah…"he cleared his throat, "So, what about you?"

Andrew looked up, confused "What? What about me?"

Karev smirked, "That face you've got on? I've seen that before. That's a Jo Wilson original, What's been eating away at you?"

Alarms went off in Andrew's head, "I um I don't know what you're talking about"

Alex raised his eyebrows in a knowing look. "Okay."

And in a moment of catharsis, the words spill out of Andrew, "I just, I knew what could've happened. She told me what this guy could do and I shouldn't have left her alone. I mean I know she only told me because she was drunk and would probably given the chance to redo it never tell me about her husband. But I don't know I feel like maybe in a way it was fate-that I happened to be at Joe's that day, and in a way I should've tried to protect her or something I don't know."

"I get that feeling." Karev replied nodding. "But I also know that Jo would probably kick your ass if she found out you were beating yourself up for failing to _protect_ her. Probably lecture you on male chauvinism while she was at it."

The two men laughed, momentarily forgetting the fact that for the most part they'd hated each other's existence. Bonding over a woman they both cared immensely about.

After waiting a moment Karev cleared his throat, "I-um I did want you to know, I am _really_ sorry. For that day I mean." remorse heavily laced in his voice.

"It looked bad, I get it" Andrew waved him off. It was actually something he'd wondered many times- if he'd walked into his home to find his girlfriend pinned down by another man on his bed- how he would have reacted. He liked to think that he would've reacted differently but he wasn't sure.

Karev shook his head, "No, there's no excuse. I nearly cost you your career. I'm really sorry, I really want you to know that"

"Thank you" It wasn't until then that Deluca realized how much the apology would mean until he heard it. He feels the grudge against Alex crumble.

They spent the rest of time after that mostly quiet after that. While most of the resentment was gone, the two were far from friends, and the silence was actually greatly appreciated.

It wasn't until a nurse walked up to them that the silence broke.

"Dr Wilson's awake, she's been asking for you Dr Karev"

And that's when Andrew knew, he could be there for Jo through whatever she needed him. But when it all hit the fan, at her most vulnerable, Jo would always need Alex. In his thoughts he had barely heard Dr Karev thank the nurse and get up

"Hey, umm I'm gonna go see her. Unless you wanted to-?" his voice trailing off.

"No, no- you should go see her. She wants you." Andrew told him, a smile on his face.

"You sure? When I said knew that face, I _do_ know that face."

"Yeah actually. All I wanted was for Jo to be happy, and she wants you and I want that for her." And his completely honest there, maybe he has feelings for Jo or maybe he was just confused but at the end of the day all he wanted for Jo was her happiness. "Unless you mess this up again, then all bets are off, you haven't seen me hit back yet Dr Karev"

Alex smiles in gratitude and turns around towards Jo's room. Andrew sits for another minute before walking towards the exit, actually feeling okay for the first time in a long time.

* * *

 _ **Okay I know I know this probably wasn't y'all were expecting after my how many month hiatus to Grey's fanfic. But truthfully? I kinda lost my muse with Greys and so 12 Hours took a long break-BUT said muse has since maybe returned? Resulting in this story-which I had to write and I'm working on a new chapter for 12 Hours-I'm at an awkward middle with that story at this point where the story is about to hit the action and angst its but I was really struggling with getting to the point but I think I got it, so hopefully fingers crossed look for a 12 Hours update in the next two weeks? (fingers crossed)**_

 _ **Anyway love you guys! I promise not to run away this time! (unless the finals monster kill me)**_


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